In my day of days I have been known to cook. In fact I ( we) entertained a fair amount, regularly. Whip up a random Friday night some thin’ some thin’ for the ‘drop ins’ to the wine circle?…. no problem. Plan a semi gourmet feast for friends in the hood, bring. it .on. I used to love it. Love is however, a strong word. Sadly, love is not eternal. Not in this case.
Stay with me peeps, I actually do have a point.
Do you have kids? Do I hear some hell yes’ ? Well, that is where cooking can and will go a wee bit sideways. You out there with yard apes feel my pain then. Right? Do you feel me? Yup, I knew you would.
I swore up and down when these guys were small you would never see me making two dinners. I would never be that Mom. Hell no.
NO chicken nuggets here. tsk tsk. NO way Jose. I WOULD NOT be making a kid dinner and then a normal dinner for the rest of us. They will learn to love polenta and chick peas and oysters and artichokes and fresh steamed mussels. Beautiful cheeses made by Québécois monks, caper berries, olives other than canned black ones. My plan was to educate their palates. Hmmm, and I DID. For a while. They ate it up and ate it real good.
Our foodie friends would have us over for gorgeous nibbles and cocktails and at the same time welcome our young ones into their home. I think they expected the children would rather eat p,b and j sandwiches or popcorn but nope.
Three sets of hands raided that table as if they hadn’t eaten for 12 hours. Can you say awkward? It was a tad embarrassing for all, at the time, but whatever….that is what I taught them to like. Keep your eye on the prize Gollum or those nasty nasty hobbitses will get it.. they will eat all your preciouses. Just joking, but for real, it is a true story about the food.
SO….. why in hell won’t they eat anything now that is remotely good for them? Chicken Marbella? Ewww, what is that in there? they drawl…… “They are prunes” I respond sweetly …….Grosssssss… they reply . ughhh. OR WTF???I groan… ITS GOOD!!!!!. Can you just try a bite? We can’t eat b.b.q. steak EVERY night. We will die!!! Your heart and arteries will clog and you will need a quadruple by pass TWICE like your Papa Harvey. Gack!!!
Good gawd. Help me…
So I bought them vitamins.
I know they will grow, because they are, in leaps and bounds.
They are growing on cheap pizza with fake cheese from down on the corner that is conveniently purchase and consumed an hour before dinner. Hmmmm. They are smarter than they look.
They are growing on candy and potato chips and God knows what else they ram into their pie holes from Safeway.
They are using their own money.
I have lost control of the ship.
The Mothership has crashed.
Oh well, more panfried chorizo and steamed crab for me!