I hear myself loudly whispering ‘breathe’…. and yet I feel myself holding my breath in, making it my prisoner. My thoughts are bombarding each other in a ridiculous rush hour. Tangled, awkward, catapulting into a heap. It is a literal carnival inside my brain. Half freak show, part geek show. I need some type of clarity. If I exhale my breathless air perhaps there will be illuminated straight lines.
So I sit here for a moment.
It really isn’t that hard after all , so why is it so difficult. Our bodies are designed to breathe themselves for life. It is natural, a carnal given. A knee – jerk reaction. Not to be taken for granted though. Mindfully breath equals life.
When this time of year rolls around for some of us it carries expectations. January 1st. A new year, a fresh start. Calculated lists of how to improve our selves and lives. Big, long lists. I am the worst type of offender. Swearing off sugar and alcohol and those delicious McDonald’s cheeseburgers. Purging unwanted and no longer loved house hold items.Wanting and needing order in all shapes and sizes. Ridding of toxic agents and sadly sometimes toxic people . Pursuing happiness in forms of smaller dress sizes, etc, etc yada, yada…. but none of that really brings true happiness. For me I am talking. That list feels like climbing a steep and rocky mountain. Climbing a humongous mountain while holding my breath. No thank you very much. I am going to dig down.
What I want this year for myself is a warmer heart. To be more warmhearted. I do believe that to really feel happiness and to be happy it has to start on the inside. The rest will follow. For me. I am only preaching to myself here people. Preaching out loud to myself.
So I leave you here after my rambling jibber jabber. I think I worked it out, it’s not perfect but I believe I am starting to see a straight path now and I am breathing again. Thanks for lending me your ears and reading.
ps~ my inspiration for this piece? below, the Dalai Lama. It is worth the time to watch, he is infectious. Happy New Year to you, may it be the happiest ever. XXXOOO.